Songtext zu 'Eat Shit Bob!' von John Oliver

We went to court
Against the world's worst sport
And learned important lessons on the way

We spoke with perfect candor
And got accused of slander
'Cause Bob Murray wants to make us pay
So even though he'll threaten legal Armageddon
We have just one tiny thing to say
Bob Murray can go fuck himself today!

Ladies and gentlemen
To help me better respond to Bob Murray's complete bullshit
Please, welcome to the show The Suck My Balls, Bob Dancers!

Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray
Hey, Bob, watch this
He went to the Louvre and spit in Mona Lisa's face
Filled a rocket with puppies and he shot it into space

He bludgeoned Nancy Kerrigan
And watched her cry for fun (why?)
He murdered Archduke Ferdinand
And started World War One!

That's right, if we discuss Bob Murray
In a way no reasonable person
Could construe as factual, we can say whatever the fuck we like
So come on everyone, let's head to the streets

Ah
Murray, wow!

He'll stroll into a stranger's home and jizz right in their Wheaties
He watches Steel Magnolias and roots for diabetes
He wrote the Macarena and he dots his I's with hearts
And even worse, he likes to blame
Malala for his farts!

Hey, what's the big idea?
We're using protected speech to tell Bob Murray to eat shit!
Bob Murray? Is that the guy who dipped his balls in my hot dog water?
That's exactly who I'm talking about!
Can I bring my cart?
It's not ideal
It'll be fine if I leave it here right?
I don't know

Murray, Murray

He doesn't like Tom Hanks
He cut off Van Gogh's ear
Told Hitler to quit painting and to find a new career
He masturbates to Schindler's List
Old Yeller makes him hard
He was Cosby's drug supplier
Jeffrey Epstein's prison guard

Stop, everybody, please
Stop, stop, stop, stop!
John, as HBO's legal counsel, please stop
I have something very important to say

One day at the M&M Store
Bob Murray walked through the door
He wasn't wearing pants that day
His dick and balls on full display
(Full display)
He grabbed M&M's from a bowl
And crammed them up his (anal hole)
He spread his buttcheeks far and wide
He told the tourists to look inside (look inside?)
He said: My rectum's full of treats
Reach in there and grab some sweets
(Grab some sweets)
These are all real things Bob Murray did

See you in court, fuckface
Look, it's Mr. Nutterbutter
We're singing about Bob Murray
I believe you've heard of him?
You mean the Zodiac Killer?
That's the one!
Well, my friends and I have a little something to say about him

Bob, Bob Murray is a furry
Putting aside our personal quarrel
The man fucks
Squirrels
The man fucks squirrels

Eat shit, Bob
Eat shit, Bob

Hey, I know where we should go

Ooh, aah
Murray, Murray
Eat shit, Bob and

Hey, Bob
Is this is as bad as you feared?
It doesn't count as
Slander
'Cause it's way too weird
We made up these anecdotes
They're silly and insane
We could go on and on and on
And on and on and on and on
But we will stop this song, who knows
We may have fried your brains

So eat
Shit
Bob
Yow